Transsexual Syndrome

I am a female to male transsexual. This means that, whilst I was a foetus, developing inside my mother's womb, there was an imbalace of hormones present which affected the way my brain formed – more precisely, the part of the brain which determines gender identity and sexual behaviour, known as the BST (L J Gooren et al, 1997). Signals from my DNA, telling these cells to form a healthy, female brain were at this time temporarily overridden by signals from the testosterone present in the womb.

So although the rest of my body formed in accordance with instructions from my DNA, as a healthy, fertile female, certain parts of my brain were, unbeknownst to me or anyone else at the time, in strong disagreement with my DNA.

There are various kinds of transsexual, the most obvious being the primary transsexual. This type generally tends to have a very clear and strong sense of their identity from early infancy, expressing strong gender behaviour and identity in childhood that's contrary to the gender role expected of them due to their appearance. Typically, a primary female-to-male (or FTM) transsexual would have refused to wear skirts or dresses or any female clothing from a very young age, preferred to play with boys in often stereotypical little boy type games. They often refuse to respond to their name if it's a very female one, and insist on being known by a male name of their choosing instead. At the onset of puberty, typically, they tend to very soon realise that they are attracted to women, and by their late teens or early twenties they begin to seek medical help to transition physically (change sex).

This is a very simplified description – it's not always that simple.

There are also secondary transsexuals – people who, though they feel very 'out of sorts' and unhappy in their given body and role in society and often a great deal of confusion from a young age over their identity and what's expected of them, they often don't 'twig' what's at the root of it until much later. There are big problems when it comes to socialising both in childhood and later, as their natural instincts towards male behaviour and modes of thinking seem to constantly clash with the face they try to learn to present to the world, hoping for acceptance. They often go through the motions of a typical girl upbringing and try to fit in, often forcing themselves into stereotypical roles such as having children, becoming housewives, dressing in a very feminine way etc, living a lie in order to try to 'cure' themselves of the lingering feeling that they are just not meant to be female, trying to simulate normal female behaviour in an attempt to fit in. They typically go through with the transition process much later in life, if at all – often they remain trapped in their false identity by feelings of duty towards the various people whose lives have become closely linked with theirs such as husband, children and other family.

Again, it's not always that simple!